I am so angry about the fact that I smoked. Why the heck would I want to introduce something so dangerous and destructive into my body? Well the answer to that was because I was young and dumb. As I got older I could tell that smoking was having negative affects on my life. I could not keep up with my friends while playing sports, started getting sick more than I normally did, and my life started to revolve around my next smoke break. I have wanted to quit smoking for years before I actually succeeded. I tried over and over again to finally be nicotine free. Why was it so hard to quit smoking? The main reason for me was that I was scared to quit smoking. Part of me enjoyed smoking; it brought pleasure to me and helped me to relax. Having a cigarette meant it was "me" time.

In order to quit smoking I felt like I would have to give up much more than cigarettes. I would have to give up those things that brought me pleasure such as; the boost of energy, the feeling of contentment, and feeling calm and relaxed. Lets not forget about these other feelings; having a hacking cough for weeks at a time, the hideous odor in your car, common cold lasts for 3 weeks instead of just a few days, and those surprising chest pains that come and go making you wonder if this is it or if you have lung cancer.

Have you ever watched someone die from lung cancer related to smoking? If you have you know it is not something you want to witness. Unfortunately, people aren't diagnosed with lung cancer until well after it is set in. Smokers just don't want to have to quit smoking. How long will they ignore the signs of cancer before going to the doctor? Is the fear of giving up smoking more than dieing of a painful death?

My mother-in-law was a wonderful woman whom I enjoyed spending time with and talking. Yes, she was a smoker in her early 50's. Shortly after retiring she was diagnosed with lung cancer, stage 4. Her and the doctors did what they could to stop the cancer from spreading; she quit smoking, changed her diet, and alternate forms of medical treatment. The month after being diagnosed she seemed like herself. She began losing weight but for the most part she appeared as strong as before. After about six weeks the pain was to the point where it was unbearable. She was put on a morphine drip yet; you could still see that she was in pain. By this time she could not speak, walk, or do anything for herself. Two weeks later she passed away. It was just over two months from being diagnosed that she died. Two months can seem to pass with a blink of an eye at times. Imagine if you knew you only had two months to live how quick it would seem.